Have I mentioned how glad I am to be home? Seriously, even though there is the everyday mundane stuff to deal with...cooking, cleaning, chauffering, appointments, work.....doesn't matter. I really missed being home.
I was able to spend the weekend getting my house together and organizing everything for the entire week, so that I can actually get something accomplished. I have noticed that I don't function very well without taking the weekend to organize. If I put it off and try to do it during the week in the mornings before I leave, I get all discombobulated and out of control. I don't know why I even try anymore, I think I am getting too old to be spontaneous. I need strict schedules that do not allow for procatination of any kind.
Tomorrow is the annual meeting with the ARD committee at Cody's school to determine weather or not he still needs some extra help with math. Judging by his grades I would assume this would be a no brainer but he has this laziness issue and "forgets" to turn things in. This is the first meeting that I will have with this school since he switched schools at the beginning of the year. I really liked the counselers and the facilitator at the last school. However, I really like his teacher this year, so I am hoping that everything goes smoothly and they don't take away the extra tutoring. The way it goes right now he gets help during school from the Special Education teacher and has two days a week of tutoring. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Dad was moved to another facility today. His insurance decided that he wasn't making enough progress at the costly rehab that he was in, so he was moved to another facility and hopefully that will help. He informed me while I was up there that he wanted to come down here with us so I have been looking into someplace that will be able to help him. Right now he needs more care than I can possibly give him but that doesn't mean that he will always be like that. Because of other serious issues he cannot live with my brother but if we can get him to the point that he can be somewhat self sufficient then we will have him move in here with us, though we would probably need a bigger place to accomodate wheelchairs or walkers. I spoke to him last night on the phone and apparently he is very serious about coming down here because he asked me about it several times.
It's really weird. I dont have the best relationship in the world with my dad. Never have. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually spoken to my dad on the phone in the last 5 years. Last night, while talking to him I spent over 30 minutes on the phone with him because he didn't seem to want to hang up. I don't think I spent that much time on the phone with him if you added up all of those phone calls together. In recent months we emailed pretty regularly but that was it. I'm not really sure how to handle this newfound dad thing. I am not stupid, I do realize that right now they only reason that he is wanting so badly to come down here is because I am the lesser of two evils. I'm not saying that my dad doesn't love me, nor me him....because of course I love him, he's my dad. And I am sure that he loves me too. I think part of the problem is that I haven't lived near my family, any part of my family, for almost 20 years (And can I just interject...THANK GOD!) I guess maybe I am a little rusty on this whole family thing. Then there are the complications that have arisen that just make things ugly but somehow, someway, things will work out.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Life Altering
For the past few months I have felt at the end of my rope. I have felt that I was barely hanging on by a thread and this past week has stretched that thread thinner than a pre pregnancy Nicole Richie.
It has been one thing right after another, with each one thing being a little bit worse than the last. And that scares me because I feel that I am sitting here waiting for the next thing to happen and all I am doing is damage control in my life.
I am not living. I am reacting. And I don't like it. I think about the future and what I want from it. I think about it but I am not doing anything to get to it. I am working and freaking out over things that I am unable to control and it has made me incredibly angry. It has also made me incredibly exhausted and run down. Today I could barely keep my eyes open, and this was after sleeping in my own bed for 8 hours straight last night.
I have decided that I have to make some changes. Changes are going to have to be made anyway because of other things going on but I am not working at my best like this and have let way too many things slip through the cracks. I am tired of chasing my tail, so to speak, so changes.....they be coming. As soon as I find my sanity.
It's probably in the clothes hamper, under the dirty clothes.
It has been one thing right after another, with each one thing being a little bit worse than the last. And that scares me because I feel that I am sitting here waiting for the next thing to happen and all I am doing is damage control in my life.
I am not living. I am reacting. And I don't like it. I think about the future and what I want from it. I think about it but I am not doing anything to get to it. I am working and freaking out over things that I am unable to control and it has made me incredibly angry. It has also made me incredibly exhausted and run down. Today I could barely keep my eyes open, and this was after sleeping in my own bed for 8 hours straight last night.
I have decided that I have to make some changes. Changes are going to have to be made anyway because of other things going on but I am not working at my best like this and have let way too many things slip through the cracks. I am tired of chasing my tail, so to speak, so changes.....they be coming. As soon as I find my sanity.
It's probably in the clothes hamper, under the dirty clothes.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Southern girls dont drive on ice.
I am a southern girl. I wasn't born a southern girl...in fact, I was born in California. I was raised in Virginia for the first part of my life and after the age of 10 moved to Missouri where I lived to the ripe old age of 18. After leaving Missouri, I moved to Georgia for 8 years and then went on a brief stint to Germany for 2 and a half years. I then moved to Texas where I have been since the begining of 1999.
The point to all of this is that I do NOT do snow. I do not like snow and it does not like me. My brother has not stopped giving me a hard time because in my advanced age I seem to have not only developed night blindness but directional dumbness. The other night, it snowed. It snowed ALOT. Not as much as the people around here were expecting but HEY! I'M FROM TEXAS DAMMIT! CENTRAL TEXAS! WHERE IT DOESN'T SNOW!!!
Anyway, it snowed. And I still tried to make it out to Columbia where my dad was. I drove out there at I70 was fairly clear. Then I took the exit.
Did I mention that I have a rental car? Yes, I have a rental car. I have a rental car that has Florida license plates so I have to assume this is a Florida car. The windshield wiper fluid is FROZEN. The windshield wipers are crap and as I look out over the parking lot where my car sits right now, I swear it shivers. Poor car.
Anyway, back to the story. I got stuck...in Columbia....without my suitcases.....because of snow. How embarrassing is that? I just couldn't see anymore. I couldn't stop sliding all over the streets. And, I couldn't find the damn interstate! So I got a motel.......apparently the only motel in existence that does not have wifi. I found the mall....bought some clothes and toothbrush and toothpaste and holed up all by myself in this little room until morning, when I could see and drive without sliding all over the place.
I wanna go home.
The point to all of this is that I do NOT do snow. I do not like snow and it does not like me. My brother has not stopped giving me a hard time because in my advanced age I seem to have not only developed night blindness but directional dumbness. The other night, it snowed. It snowed ALOT. Not as much as the people around here were expecting but HEY! I'M FROM TEXAS DAMMIT! CENTRAL TEXAS! WHERE IT DOESN'T SNOW!!!
Anyway, it snowed. And I still tried to make it out to Columbia where my dad was. I drove out there at I70 was fairly clear. Then I took the exit.
Did I mention that I have a rental car? Yes, I have a rental car. I have a rental car that has Florida license plates so I have to assume this is a Florida car. The windshield wiper fluid is FROZEN. The windshield wipers are crap and as I look out over the parking lot where my car sits right now, I swear it shivers. Poor car.
Anyway, back to the story. I got stuck...in Columbia....without my suitcases.....because of snow. How embarrassing is that? I just couldn't see anymore. I couldn't stop sliding all over the streets. And, I couldn't find the damn interstate! So I got a motel.......apparently the only motel in existence that does not have wifi. I found the mall....bought some clothes and toothbrush and toothpaste and holed up all by myself in this little room until morning, when I could see and drive without sliding all over the place.
I wanna go home.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
And yet, another excuse not to blog
Wow, I am really bad at this updating thing. In my defense however, this is my first day off since the weekend before last. I have been busy trying to get everything done so that I can take a week off at the end of the month. I fly out on Wednesday afternoon and have all of Monday and Tuesday completely booked in order to make this possible. I will pack on Wednesday morning and rush off to the airport, hopefully in enough time to get there before my plane takes off. If I were any more prepared I swear it would be scary!
It's been an interesting few weeks. I have spoken to my brother more in the past couple weeks than I have spoken to him in over 10 years.....and this is not necessarily a good thing. I now remember WHY I don't like speaking to him often. He's an ass. Enough said.
Dad is in the rehab place and recovering, I don't think it's going to be possible for him to recover enough to be able to live on his own, which is a problem in itself, but we will figure out the best possible scenario and hope that it works.
I did a demo yesterday. I hate demos. I really, really, really, hate demos. Did I mention that I hate demos? Cause seriously, I hate demos. I stood there, like a dumbass, in heels for 6 hours. I spoke about the product to people and answered their questions to the best of my ability seriously for the first 4 hours of it. After that, I got bored and tired. And my feet hurt. ALOT. So, I started spicing it up a bit. When asked how the product worked, I responded that it was "magic". Once I started answering like that, the product FLEW off the shelf. Who knew?
I have really got to get better at this whole updating thing. I think of stuff all the time but for some reason I never get it written. Will have to work on that some. I think it's already on my neverending list of things to do......probably number 190,543
It's been an interesting few weeks. I have spoken to my brother more in the past couple weeks than I have spoken to him in over 10 years.....and this is not necessarily a good thing. I now remember WHY I don't like speaking to him often. He's an ass. Enough said.
Dad is in the rehab place and recovering, I don't think it's going to be possible for him to recover enough to be able to live on his own, which is a problem in itself, but we will figure out the best possible scenario and hope that it works.
I did a demo yesterday. I hate demos. I really, really, really, hate demos. Did I mention that I hate demos? Cause seriously, I hate demos. I stood there, like a dumbass, in heels for 6 hours. I spoke about the product to people and answered their questions to the best of my ability seriously for the first 4 hours of it. After that, I got bored and tired. And my feet hurt. ALOT. So, I started spicing it up a bit. When asked how the product worked, I responded that it was "magic". Once I started answering like that, the product FLEW off the shelf. Who knew?
I have really got to get better at this whole updating thing. I think of stuff all the time but for some reason I never get it written. Will have to work on that some. I think it's already on my neverending list of things to do......probably number 190,543
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sigh
I am making the announcement now that on Saturday, February 16th I will be busy having a nervous breakdown. Don't call me.....I will be busy.
Well, it's a new year. It had been a fairly decent start to the year, I had actually managed to pay off a few bills and get caught up on a couple others without having to completely deny myself the essentials of life (STARBUCKS). I had plans laid out to pay off a few other things and start a savings account for emergencies. Specifically, we had decided that with my mothers bad health and both of MH's grandmothers not doing so well it would be a good idea to build up an emergency account for traveling. Sounds responsible doesn't it?
My brother called me on Friday to tell me that he was on his way to the hospital where my dad had been admitted. The mailman had gotten worried when he noticed the mail had not been picked up in a few days and went into the house and found my dad. Apparently my dad has been lying for well over a year to everyone and has not been in to see his doctor at all and has not been taking his blood pressure meds. He had a stroke. And it was a fairly major one. He has no use of the left side of his body at all at this time and the MRI showed a significant area was damaged in his brain. They also found something in his heart that worried them so they ordered an electrocardiogram to be done. Suprisingly his heart looks pretty decent so they are no longer worried about that but they are worried about his recovery.
My dad's home is ........well, let's just say that it's not very habitable. He has refused over the years to move or to even let us help him to clean it up. He no longer has a choice in the matter. My brother and I have decided that if he is able to go home again and live on his own then he will not be doing it in that house. I am trying to put off going up there for a little while until we can determine his recovery. He will be heading over to a rehab place hopefully by the end of the week if they can find someplace that will take him. I am hoping to head out that way by the end of the month and that we will be able to determine something. I sent my brother some money to get a storage place and we will begin to sort through the stuff in dad's home. He has already taken a few items out of the house which was a good thing since the house was broken into the very first night that dad was in the hospital. We will get anything that is salvagable into storage and then go from there. If dad can go home then we will get him an apartment near my brother where they can check on him more often. If not, well ....I guess he will be going to an assisted living facility since my brother cannot care for him in their home.
The next few weeks will be spent getting everything in order here to be able to spend a week in Missouri. The week in Missouri will be spent running from one nursing home to another to see both of my parents and trying to clear out my dads house. I am really, really, really needing to have that nervous breakdown.
Well, it's a new year. It had been a fairly decent start to the year, I had actually managed to pay off a few bills and get caught up on a couple others without having to completely deny myself the essentials of life (STARBUCKS). I had plans laid out to pay off a few other things and start a savings account for emergencies. Specifically, we had decided that with my mothers bad health and both of MH's grandmothers not doing so well it would be a good idea to build up an emergency account for traveling. Sounds responsible doesn't it?
My brother called me on Friday to tell me that he was on his way to the hospital where my dad had been admitted. The mailman had gotten worried when he noticed the mail had not been picked up in a few days and went into the house and found my dad. Apparently my dad has been lying for well over a year to everyone and has not been in to see his doctor at all and has not been taking his blood pressure meds. He had a stroke. And it was a fairly major one. He has no use of the left side of his body at all at this time and the MRI showed a significant area was damaged in his brain. They also found something in his heart that worried them so they ordered an electrocardiogram to be done. Suprisingly his heart looks pretty decent so they are no longer worried about that but they are worried about his recovery.
My dad's home is ........well, let's just say that it's not very habitable. He has refused over the years to move or to even let us help him to clean it up. He no longer has a choice in the matter. My brother and I have decided that if he is able to go home again and live on his own then he will not be doing it in that house. I am trying to put off going up there for a little while until we can determine his recovery. He will be heading over to a rehab place hopefully by the end of the week if they can find someplace that will take him. I am hoping to head out that way by the end of the month and that we will be able to determine something. I sent my brother some money to get a storage place and we will begin to sort through the stuff in dad's home. He has already taken a few items out of the house which was a good thing since the house was broken into the very first night that dad was in the hospital. We will get anything that is salvagable into storage and then go from there. If dad can go home then we will get him an apartment near my brother where they can check on him more often. If not, well ....I guess he will be going to an assisted living facility since my brother cannot care for him in their home.
The next few weeks will be spent getting everything in order here to be able to spend a week in Missouri. The week in Missouri will be spent running from one nursing home to another to see both of my parents and trying to clear out my dads house. I am really, really, really needing to have that nervous breakdown.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
The Complexeties of Changing Your Address
If you have ever moved then you have had to change your address with the Post Office. It all starts with filling out the change of address form and sending it in to your local post office. But, really...it's much more complicated than that.
I have not been getting my mail from my old house. I put the change of address form in a few weeks ago, but still nothing. Not one little yellow sticker on any of my mail. Plus, I am missing some stuff. So, I called the post office and asked to speak to the Postmaster as I have had run ins with other employees and to save time and my sanity I figured it would be easier to start at the top.
He was very helpful (NOT) and incredibly condescending while explaining the intricacies of forwarding your mail.
1. You fill out your change of address form and put it in a mailbox or drop it off at the post office.
2. It goes into a big box where it sits for God only knows how long before some well meaning employee picks it up and asks "So, should we do something with this?"
3. It is then sent to the forwarding station with a copy sent to the old postal carrier.
It is important to note at this time that I only moved a mile away. I am using the same post office, just a different carrier.
4. The old carrier will then take all of the mail that is addressed to the old address and put it in a little pile to be sent to the forwarding station, which incidentally is located at a totally different post office.
5. This mail then piles up until someone gets tired of looking at it and then the forwarding station will send the customer a letter stating "Hey, we have your mail. Do you want it?"
6. If they hear nothing from the customer then they will assume that the address is good and eventually will send the mail.
This entire process is supposed to take 10 days. It has been 15 days. And, I haven't even received the letter yet!!
So after listening to the Postmaster wax poetically about this process, I expressed my amazement about the efficiency of their system.
"So, what you are saying is that you sent my mail to another post office and I have to wait until they sort through it in order for it to be sent BACK to you so that you can send it on to me???"
I don't think I will be getting my mail anytime soon.
I have not been getting my mail from my old house. I put the change of address form in a few weeks ago, but still nothing. Not one little yellow sticker on any of my mail. Plus, I am missing some stuff. So, I called the post office and asked to speak to the Postmaster as I have had run ins with other employees and to save time and my sanity I figured it would be easier to start at the top.
He was very helpful (NOT) and incredibly condescending while explaining the intricacies of forwarding your mail.
1. You fill out your change of address form and put it in a mailbox or drop it off at the post office.
2. It goes into a big box where it sits for God only knows how long before some well meaning employee picks it up and asks "So, should we do something with this?"
3. It is then sent to the forwarding station with a copy sent to the old postal carrier.
It is important to note at this time that I only moved a mile away. I am using the same post office, just a different carrier.
4. The old carrier will then take all of the mail that is addressed to the old address and put it in a little pile to be sent to the forwarding station, which incidentally is located at a totally different post office.
5. This mail then piles up until someone gets tired of looking at it and then the forwarding station will send the customer a letter stating "Hey, we have your mail. Do you want it?"
6. If they hear nothing from the customer then they will assume that the address is good and eventually will send the mail.
This entire process is supposed to take 10 days. It has been 15 days. And, I haven't even received the letter yet!!
So after listening to the Postmaster wax poetically about this process, I expressed my amazement about the efficiency of their system.
"So, what you are saying is that you sent my mail to another post office and I have to wait until they sort through it in order for it to be sent BACK to you so that you can send it on to me???"
I don't think I will be getting my mail anytime soon.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The Post in Which I Get a Little Sappy
Wow......I have been seriously neglecting my blog lately. I should really get better about this.
It's now a new year. Time and again I have made resolutions and by the 3rd of January, well let's just say that I have a really easy time justifying NOT doing something. This year I am resolving to NOT make any resolutions. I have goals.....but I will not call them resolutions. (Yeah.....cause by calling them something else I can justify not doing them. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy!)
My goals this year are the same as every year. The same as every one else's. Nothing new and exciting. My main goal is to just try to make it through 2008 with my sense of humor intact and what little sanity I have left.
New Years Eve in Wonderland was very staid compared to years past. I picked Dormouse up from the airport that afternoon and she decided that since she missed us she would spend the New Year with her family instead of running off to a friend's party. We spent the evening playing Mexican Train Dominos and having a blast. Yes, even Mad Hatter had a good time. We didn't even have the tv on in the background to hear the ball drop and all the hoopla that goes with that. In fact, we didn't even realize that it was midnight until we heard all the fireworks going off in our neighborhood. We were all in bed by 12:30 am but that was okay with us. We spent it doing something that we really should have spent more time doing throughout the past year. We spent it as a family, laughing, talking and just being together. Hopefully, the new year will bring more of that.
It's now a new year. Time and again I have made resolutions and by the 3rd of January, well let's just say that I have a really easy time justifying NOT doing something. This year I am resolving to NOT make any resolutions. I have goals.....but I will not call them resolutions. (Yeah.....cause by calling them something else I can justify not doing them. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy!)
My goals this year are the same as every year. The same as every one else's. Nothing new and exciting. My main goal is to just try to make it through 2008 with my sense of humor intact and what little sanity I have left.
New Years Eve in Wonderland was very staid compared to years past. I picked Dormouse up from the airport that afternoon and she decided that since she missed us she would spend the New Year with her family instead of running off to a friend's party. We spent the evening playing Mexican Train Dominos and having a blast. Yes, even Mad Hatter had a good time. We didn't even have the tv on in the background to hear the ball drop and all the hoopla that goes with that. In fact, we didn't even realize that it was midnight until we heard all the fireworks going off in our neighborhood. We were all in bed by 12:30 am but that was okay with us. We spent it doing something that we really should have spent more time doing throughout the past year. We spent it as a family, laughing, talking and just being together. Hopefully, the new year will bring more of that.
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